ghostype | you can drag me through hell (if it meant i could hold your hand) [2/4]

title: you can drag me through hell (if it meant i could hold your hand)
pairing: jay/jungwon, jake/jungwon, sunoo/jungwon
rating: mature
summary: jongseong wants more than jungwon can give him, and it becomes a tug-o-war between a typical alpha and an atypical omega.

jongseong wants him to break. jungwon can tell by the weight of his stare every time their eyes meet.

neither one of them wants to look away first, and more often than not, jongseong takes it as an invitation to stalk over to jungwon until they're face to face. jungwon's face is tilted up, eyes defiant while jongseong's own eyes trace over the slope of his nose and the softness of his cheeks.

the second any part of him touches jungwon, however, the spell is broken, and jungwon walks away without a backwards glance. he can feel jongseong's gaze burning into the back of his head each time he does it.

jongseong doesn't move from his spot until he hears jungwon close his door and the lock sliding in place.

jongseong starts with jungwon's forehead, when the younger boy is concentrating on his homework or drawing, and jongseong can’t help but want to smooth the wrinkles from it, so he does, pressing his lips against jungwon’s forehead softly.

jungwon flinches away like he's been burned, nearly hissing. a long, jagged mark strikes through the sketch he's working on, making the wrinkles come back full force when he notices.

"can you not fucking do that?"

jongseong just grins at him before walking away, hearing the telltale snap when jungwon breaks his pencil in half.

the next places jongseong marks with his lips are jungwon’s cheeks. jungwon is sitting on the couch, book in his lap. he looks so soft and comfortable, jongseong leans over and kisses his cheek, grinning as he leans back to dodge the incoming shove.

it's jungwon’s cheeks he aims for when he comes home from work, making a beeline for the boy, wherever he is, and dancing around him until he can plant his lips on one side and sauntering off while jungwon fumes.

the best part of it all? the pink blush that dusts jungwon's cheeks after. it's the blushing that tests jongseong the most. his pale skin looks so cute with the small splash of color on them, it takes all of his willpower not to press up against him and deepen the blush to a rosy red.

he’s your omega. do what you want with him. mark him. he belongs to us, his inner alpha says, metaphorically drooling over jungwon.

most times, jongseong can summon enough patience to keep himself calm. he wants jungwon to be the one to break first.

however, jongseong doesn't expect jungwon to fight fire with fire.

it begins one afternoon when jongseong needs to shower, and jungwon’s been in the bathroom for nearly an hour. there’s another shower, but all of his stuff is in the master bath. why jungwon was using his shower for once, when he actually needs to be somewhere irks him.

“yang jungwon! you’ve been in there for an hour! at least let me in so i can get my stuff to use the other bathroom!” when he doesn’t hear a reply, jongseong rolls his eyes and opens the bathroom door in time to see jungwon reaching for the door with his towel slung dangerously low on his waist.

“can you knock?” jungwon asks, raising an eyebrow at the other boy. water drips down his skin, and jongseong’s mouth goes dry as his eyes darken, taking in every inch of skin jungwon is showing. he steps forward, crowding jungwon back against the sink as he plants his arms on both sides of his hips.

jungwon squeaks, holding onto the towel tighter and pressing his free hand against jongseong’s chest. their faces are dangerously close, and jungwon feels himself getting dizzy from the steam and the swirling fire that is jongseong’s scent.

“jungwon,” jongseong says quietly, dangerously.

alpha, alpha, alpha! jungwon’s omega yells, surprising himself. his eyes flutter closed as he unconsciously tilts his head back, and jongseong wastes no time burying his face into his neck. jungwon tastes like a mixture of soft sweetness and salty skin as jongseong nips at it with his teeth, sucking red marks over the expanse. jungwon moans brokenly, fingers curling into jongseong’s t-shirt until-

jongseong stumbles back suddenly when jungwon pushes him. he lets out a frustrated growl until he sees the panic and fear on jungwon’s face. he stops himself from reaching out to stop the younger boy as he flies out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

jongseong takes a few steps forward again, gripping the edge of the sink to keep himself from running after jungwon and claiming what is rightfully his.

"don't fucking fan the flames if you can't take the heat, omega."

after that day, jongseong keeps his distance from jungwon. he doesn’t apologize. jungwon doesn’t ask him for an apology or an explanation.

jungwon is much more aware of his presence now, eyes snapping up following him around the room until he stops. jongseong can see him tense when he's near, ready to run at a moment's notice.

"why so jumpy, wonnie? you look like prey."

the taunt irks him, which is exactly what jongseong wants. he watches the way jungwon presses his lips into a thin line, the slight twitch of his head. "prey? because i look good enough to eat?" jungwon can smell the change in jongseong's scent before the man appears in his vision, caging him between his arms and leaning over with narrowed eyes.

"you're so fucking tempting, you know that? how am i supposed to resist you when you look this good? when you smell this good?" one of his hands moves to trail up the smooth skin of jungwon's thighs, up to his hips. jongseong traces small shapes into his hip bones, smirking when jungwon swallows, cheeks immediately tuning pink.

“tell me you don’t want this. tell me you don’t want it, and i’ll stop right now." their faces are so close, jongseong can count each individual eyelash on jungwon's lids. their noses touch, and jongseong is so close to leaning in and reclaiming the lips that should've only been his.

“i don’t want this.”

jongseong stops.

“i don’t want this,” jungwon repeats, staring right at him.

"then what do you want?" jongseong growls at him, refusing to move.

jungwon regards him carefully for a few moments before a slow grin appears on his face. "do you want the truth, or a lie?"

he knows. jongseong's fingers curl into the material of the couch as jungwon's words come back to hit him, full force.

sometimes, a lie is what keeps you alive. it's what gives you hope in your tiny, miserable existence.

the next thing he knows, jungwon is gone, and the door to his bedroom slams shut.

jongseong falls to his knees and grips the carpet with his hands, knuckles turning white from the sheer amount of strength he has to use to keep himself from breaking down his door.

their game comes to a grinding halt when jongseong gets a call from jungwon's school one day, informing him that he'd passed out in the middle of class.

jongseong breaks nearly every traffic law to get to the school from his office, striding through the halls like a thunderstorm.

jungwon is asleep in the nurse's office when he arrives to take him home.

"mr. park."

"mr. park is my dad. please call me jay," he says, shaking hands with the principal.

"jay, then. jungwon was looking a little out of it most of the day. he was working on something in the art room when he fainted, and his friend managed to catch him before he hit the ground."

"thank you. i'll get him checked out."

the nurse somehow manages to get jungwon conscious enough to get on his feet, leaning heavily on jongseong with a groan.

"feels a little hot, complained about cramps. he might be in pre-heat, so i'd be careful if i were you," she tells him, giving jungwon a small rub on the back.

jongseong carries him out to the car and into their penthouse when they get home. jungwon groans again, shedding his uniform as he crawls into his bed, burying himself into the blankets and sheets.

"jungwon? wonnie?" the boy doesn't answer him, so jongseong leaves, sending sunghoon a text.

"looks like pre-heat to me. is it time for him to go into heat again?" sunghoon asks. he's just finished looking over jungwon, who is mumbling angrily under his breath about being poked and prodded when he wants to sleep.

"i don't know. does it look like he talks about that stuff with me?"

sunghoon raises an eyebrow at him. "how long have you two been living together? you mean to tell me he hasn't gone through a heat yet while he's been here?"

"i don't know! i think maybe that's when he goes to visit my mom for a couple of days?"

sunghoon throws his hands up into the air and rolls his eyes. "then take him to your mom's if he's used to being there for it!"

"i didn't know he was in pre-heat!"

"liar. the nurse said so when we were leaving," jungwon rasps out, and jongseong has never been more annoyed to hear his voice.

"mom's out of town with dad, anyway. they'll be gone for a few weeks."

jungwon just groans, turning over in his bed and pulling his blankets closer to himself. "get out. both of you stink."

"we'll bring you some supplies in a bit," sunghoon says as he motions for jongseong to leave the room. he closes the door behind him and follows jongseong to the living room, where he collapses on the couch with a sigh. "so, you have somewhere to stay for the week, or do you need to stay with me?"

"what do you mean?" jongseong asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

"do you really think i'm going to leave you here with an omega in heat, and not just any omega, jungwon in heat?"

"yes? why not?"

"why not? because i value my life? because you should value your life? do you know what sunoo would do to you- to us- if anything happens to jungwon?"

"why would anything happen to him?"

sunghoon gives him an exasperated look. "denial is a river in egypt, jay. i know i have piss poor self-control, and i also happen to know you also have piss poor self-control, especially when it comes to jungwon."

"just because we don't have a will of steel like sunoo doesn't mean we have piss poor self-control."

"but we do. anyway, this isn't about me. this is about you and jungwon. i don't know what goes on here when you're alone, and i don't want to know what goes on here when you're alone, but the bottom line is, you are not staying here alone with him. not while he's vulnerable like this. don't be like this, jay."

but sunghoon knows the petulant look on his friend's face means he wants to be like this.

"you know what? fine. be like that. but when- not if, when- sunoo hears about this from jungwon, you can kiss jungwon goodbye."

sunghoon can see the cogs working in jongseong's brain. if there is anyone that can keep jungwon away from him, it's sunoo. the only reason jungwon is even living with jongseong in the first place is because sunoo couldn't bring jungwon with him when he left.

"i'm not afraid of sunoo."

"you're a liar. we're all afraid of sunoo."

the two alphas stare at each other until they hear shuffling coming from down the hallway, and jungwon stumbles past them like a zombie, looking for water. they both watch him spill some water on his shirt trying to drink too quickly before wandering past them back to his room, closing the door behind him.

"you want me to leave him alone by himself like that?"

"we'll come check on him every day. or at least i will. go pack up some clothes and let's go. jungwon!" sunghoon yells. "we're leaving soon! i'll bring by food and water in the morning!"

"okay!" jungwon shouts back.

"see? problem solved. c'mon. stop sulking, you're a fucking adult."

sunghoon is glad jongseong sleeps like the dead. in a true feat of heraclean strength, he manages to wake up early and run all of his errands, sipping on a cup of coffee in his kitchen as he waits for jongseong to inevitably try to sneak out and see jungwon.

"g'morning, jay. a little early for you to be up on the weekend, isn't it?" sunghoon grins when his friend stops in his tracks, whirling around to see him gently pushing a mug of coffee towards him.

"why are you awake. it's six in the morning," he croaks out, side-eying the other male.

"ran some errands. got some food and water for jungwon, made sure he was sleeping okay, checked his vitals, and picked us up some breakfast. you hungry? or did you want to go back to sleep?"

sunghoon hears jongseong mutter angrily under his breath before turning right back around for the guest room.

*noo: hows my bb?

hoon: i'm fine, thanks for asking

*noo: not u, idiot. wonnie

hoon: oh. my poor fragile heart. it hurts.

*noo: u like it

hoon: never said i didn't

hoon: he's fine. caught jay trying to sneak out this morning to see him

*noo: thot so. dont 4get to bring won r clothes

hoon: wouldn't dream of it

hoon: miss you

*noo: miss you 2

*noo: ur work hubby says hi

"please?"

"absolutely not."

"please, sunghoon. i'm begging you."

"abso-fucking-lutely not."

"i'll do anything!"

unlike kim sunoo, sunghoon doesn't revel in the sight of seeing his best friend on his knees, begging him to let him see jungwon.

jongseong sighs heavily. it's well into the afternoon when jongseong wakes up the second time. sunghoon is still in his living room, going through some medical journals when jongseong comes out to beg.

"no. jay. jongseong. listen to me," sunghoon says, reaching down to grab jay's chin, holding his face still so he can see sunghoon's face. "this isn't a joke. you're not taking this seriously. yes, i know you've fucked omegas in heat before, but you didn't give a shit about any of them. this is jungwon. you've been chasing after him since we were kids, and he's still a kid. do you fucking understand me?"

jongseong's arms drop to his sides as he sags on his knees. he knows. of course, he knows. part of him cares, but the part of him that doesn't care is much, much louder.

"this is not how you get him to like you. this is how you get him to resent you for the rest of your life, if sunoo doesn't take your life first. and i wish i were kidding, but i'm not. sunoo will actually kill you for him."

then their phones go off simultaneously, and jongseong mechanically pulls his out, knowing it's a message from work. sunghoon's eyes sweep over the alert and sighs. "someone tried to break into the building again? jesus, this is getting annoying. i already have a backlog of bodies to work on."

"they're still alive. let's go see if we can find out who they work for," jongseong says, pushing himself up to his feet and dusting off his knees. normally, he'd be much more excited, but his mind is still stuck on jungwon, alone at home.

jongseong, in true jongseong fashion, sneaks away from the office as soon as possible while sunghoon is elbows deep in a dead body. he opens up the door to the penthouse quietly, calling for jungwon.

when he doesn't get an answer, he walks towards his room in the hallway only to see it open up a crack, jungwon's eye staring out warily in the darkness. "fuck! wonnie, you scared the shit out of me!" jongseong nearly yells at him.

but jungwon doesn't answer him, continuing to stare. "did you bring it?"

"bring what?"

"sunoo and sunghoon's things. i asked sunghoon to bring me stuff with their scents on it, but that was a few hours ago. did you bring it?"

"no..."

jungwon's lone eye blinks a few times before it narrows, and he closes the door, locking it.

"... okay. i'll go get it for you. i'll be back in a little bit, okay?"

jongseong hears shuffling behind the door, but it sends shivers down his spine, so he runs as fast as he can for the door.

this time, when he comes back with his arm full of clothes, jungwon practically tackles him at the door and takes everything, running away from him like a gremlin.

jongseong chases after him, stopping in confusion when he hears the door to his bedroom close instead, jungwon's door wide open. he glances inside and sees jungwon's room as empty as it's always been, save for a few plants here and there and the cacti on his dresser.

but when he opens the door to his bedroom, he's immediately assaulted with the smell of lavender and tea tree, and with how strong it is, he can smell undernotes of honey as well.

“what the fuck, jungwon?” he mutters, watching as he shoves pillows around and pulls at blankets. a pillow falls to the ground, and when jongseong reaches for it, jungwon growls at him and leaps forward, shoving his hand away, snatching the pillow from the ground again.

“leave it!” he yells at him before scurrying off the bed and running for the closet. he comes back with an armful of jongseong’s clothes, hoodies, sweaters, jackets, arranging them carefully on the bed.

“… are you nesting? in my bed?” jongseong asks incredulously. his inner alpha is beaming with pride. he can't stop the smile appearing on his face when he sees most of his clothes littering the bed.

“yes. now don’t fucking touch anything, or i’ll strangle you."

he watches jungwon carefully move things around, frowning when something doesn't seem right. the slightest movements seem to set him off, so jongseong stays still to watch.

“is there anything i can do to help?” jongseong asks softly after about ten minutes. jungwon’s head whips up, staring at jongseong as if he just realizes he’s still there.

“don’t touch anything. please," he reiterates.

jongseong nods, leaning against the doorway. it's another twenty minutes or so before the boy curls up in the middle of the bed, face buried into jongseong's favorite hoodie. sunoo's pillow is in his arms.

jongseong slowly approaches the nest, and jungwon's eyes snap open again, the glare in them making jongseong stop in his tracks.

"aren't you hurting? do you mind if i come in? can alpha come help you?"

jungwon’s eyes glaze over when he hears alpha, and he pushes himself back up into a sitting position and nods slowly. he can’t help but wince when some of the clothes move when jongseong crawls onto the bed, diving past him to fix it.

jongseong waits in the middle for jungwon to finish, and when he comes back, jongseong pulls him onto his lap, so he’s straddling his waist, wrapping his arms around him.

“such a pretty nest for my pretty little omega… it’s okay… alpha’s got you…”

the blush on jungwon’s cheeks is almost too much for him. some of his hair is sticking to his forehead with sweat, and jongseong is entirely too happy when jungwon pulls him closer to him. "it's hot. it hurts. it always hurts," jungwon mumbles, burying his face into jongseong's chest.

"where's it hurt, pretty baby? here?" jongseong rubs his lower back, and jungwon nods. "where else?"

jungwon groans and wraps his arms around jongseong's neck, pulling him even closer. jongseong’s hands circle jungwon’s waist, holding him in place while jungwon threads his fingers into jongseong’s hair with a broken moan, grinding their hips together.

finally, his alpha howls, the omega is mine!

“fuck.” jongseong groans into his skin, nipping gently at the juncture between his shoulder and his neck. he can smell some distress coming from jungwon still, so he automatically starts to emit a calming scent.

but as soon as it hits the air, jungwon suddenly gasps, shoving jongseong away from him before he scrambles away, staring at him in horror.

“jungwon?”

“get out. leave. i need you to go.” jungwon is breathing heavily, staring at jongseong in terror.

“you’re out of your fucking mind if you think i’m going to leave you here alone while you’re in heat-”

“that’s exactly what you’re gonna do. leave!” jungwon yells, jumping down from the bed.

“jungwon!” jongseong shouts after him, but jungwon runs for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and locking the door.

“jungwon!”

“if you want to help me, then leave! respect my fucking privacy and leave!”

“i’m not fucking going anywhere!” he yells through the bathroom door.

it’s quiet for a few minutes, and jongseong is two seconds from smashing down the bathroom door when he hears jungwon speak again, voice breaking.

“please, jongseong. just… please.”

jongseong smells the wilting flowers and singing nettles again from the other side of the door and howls, turning to punch the wall, leaving a hole in the plaster.

"wonnie, please just let me help you. it hurts me to know you're hurting. please."

jungwon cowers in the bathroom, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. he can smell how angry the alpha is. his omega wants him to open that door, to beg for forgiveness, to do whatever it takes to make him happy, but jungwon clenches his teeth and resists. his entire body burns, and the ache in his stomach increases exponentially, making him double over in pain, sobbing quietly.

jongseong hears the sound of crying and grits his teeth. “fine,” he growls through the door. “fucking fine!” he roars, making jungwon flinch, hiccupping his last sob.

jungwon presses a hand over his mouth to mute the sounds of crying. mroe things break on the other side of the door, rattling the handle before sudden silence.

jungwon waits in the bathroom until he hears the front door slam, and a few more minutes for good measure before he carefully opens the bathroom door. he sees the hole jongseong left in the wall and sighs, wiping sweat away from his forehead.

then, when his eyes settle on his nest, he feels the blood drain from his face before a wail escapes his lips.

“you did what?” sunghoon deadpans. he's already pissed that jongseong snuck off to see jungwon, but for him to show up at his door, smelling like said omega and fire, sunghoon is prepared for the worst.

what jongseong tells him is even worse than he imagined.

sunghoon only catches bits and pieces here and there, but the important words he hears from his rant are ‘heat,’ ‘nest,’ and ‘destroy.’

“sunghoon, i’m too fucking pissed to-”

“i'm more fucking pissed than you, so shut the fuck up, right now. did i hear you right? did you say you destroyed jungwon’s nest before you left?”

“yes,” jongseong growls at him, and sunghoon gives him a look of utter disbelief.

“of all the god forsaken- after everything i told you this morning- you have the fucking- oh my fucking god-” sunghoon reaches for his phone and calls someone, biting his lip as he waits for an answer. “i need you to come home as soon as possible. long story short, jungwon’s in heat, and jay destroyed his nest when jungwon kicked him out.”

sunghoon pulls his phone away from his ear when sunoo starts screaming.

“… better go fucking check on him right now and make sure he’s okay because if he’s not, when i get there, jay’s fucking dead!” then the phone line goes dead.

"i’ve got eight hours to make sure jungwon is okay to spare your life.” sunghoon heads for his door, grabbing his coat and his keys. “and you. for fuck’s sake, read a fucking book and learn something.” sunghoon grabs a book off his counter and throws it at jongseong, barely missing his head.

“i’m going with-”

sunghoon slams the door behind him.

to say sunoo is pissed is an understatement, especially after sunghoon texts him to tell him he had to bring jungwon to a hospital because his body was stressed to the point that he was wheezing when sunghoon found him, hands bleeding with shards of glass embedded in his skin.

so, ten hours later, jay’s got a black eye, a busted lip, and a knife pressed against his throat.

sunoo really would kill me over jungwon, jongseong thinks idly, unable to look sunoo in the eyes.

“how could you fucking do that to him? how? tell me why i shouldn’t just end your miserable excuse of an existence!” sunoo snarls at him.

when jongseong calmed down enough, he flipped through the book sunghoon threw at him out of curiosity, and the guilt slammed into him like a mack truck when he read about omegas and nests.

“you’re such a self-centered asshole- oh my fucking god! i knew i shouldn’t have trusted him with you! i knew i should’ve just made my sister take this contact, so i could stay with him! what the actual fuck, park jongseong, how can you actually be this stupid?” sunoo howls at him, pressing the knife deeper into his skin.

jongseong swallows, and the blade nicks his neck, small beads of blood welling on the surface.

“i’m sorry, sunoo. i didn’t know. i really didn’t.”

sunoo growls again and stabs the knife into the wall next to jongseong’s head before walking away from him, fingers laced behind his head. he’s taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm down (and failing miserably).

“how much longer are you going to keep claiming ignorance? are you even making an effort to understand him, or are you still expecting him to suddenly fall head over heels for you and kiss your ass like everyone else? fuck! i’m so fucking pissed!” sunoo slumps into a chair and buries his face into his hands.

jongseong is quiet. the guilt is eating at him, but a part of him is still mad at jungwon for turning him away.

jungwon looks so tired and small in the hospital bed when jongseong goes to visit him for the first time. it’s been a week since sunghoon pulled him from the rubble of their penthouse.

his hands are bandaged all the way up to his elbows, and he needed a total of six stitches on his hands and knuckles.

jungwon pretends to be sleeping every time jongseong comes to see him. jongseong knows he’s pretending from the small furrow of his eyebrows. he’s watched jungwon sleep at night too often not to know what his true sleeping face looks like, but he lets him pretend.

the truth is, jongseong doesn’t know what to say to jungwon. he can apologize, but then what?

he’s so lost in thought, he doesn’t notice jungwon opening his eyes until he reaches for a cup of water on the bed tray in front of him, taking a few gulps.

jongseong’s eyes immediately settle on his hands, the way they’re shaking before looking at jungwon’s face. his eyes are on him, tired.

“why did you do it?” jungwon finally asks. his voice is hoarse, and he looks like he’s one step away from bursting into tears.

“i was mad. i didn’t… i didn’t know it would affect you that badly,” jongseong says weakly.

jungwon’s body aches. his skin is pale, his face is gaunt. “why do you hold onto me if you’re going to treat me like this? is my life a game to you?”

“it isn’t! i was just mad, and i lost control.” it may not seem like it all the time, but i really do care. i promise, he thinks to himself. at this point, he's not sure who he's trying to convince.

“so, what? i’m supposed to forgive you because you couldn’t control your emotions? who do you think you are? heeseung?” the bitterness seeps from jungwon in waves, washing over jongseong unforgivingly. “you’re just like him. you’re nice to me when you’re in a good mood, and if anything doesn’t go your way, you get pissed off and fuck up my life. tell me i’m wrong. i dare you.”

“it’s not like that, jungwon. i swear. i didn’t mean it. i just. it’s just so hard!” jongseong grits his teeth, and jungwon just sighs heavily.

“why, jongseong? isn’t this what you wanted? didn't you want me to belong to you? i spend nearly every waking moment with you. my only friends are your friends. i'm too scared to make friends at school because of you!" jungwon coughs from trying to yell, and jongseong leans forward in alarm, but jungwon leans away from him, glaring despite being unable to breathe.

when his coughing fit dies down, jungwon stares at his hands, breathing heavily.

“i don’t know which of you is worse, to be honest with you. at least with heeseung, i knew he hated me. i knew everything he did had an ulterior motive.” jungwon feels the tears pricking at his eyes when he thinks of his brother, but he doesn’t bother to hide them this time.

“you? you keep doing things that give me hope. i start to think, maybe this could work. maybe i’ve been too hard on you, resisting too hard because of what heeseung did to me.” the tears fall, and his shoulders start shaking slightly. “i think, maybe i’m wrong. maybe you really are just trying to take care of me, and i’m just too traumatized, too broken to accept it.”

jungwon clenches his fists until he feels his hands stinging, and blood blossoms onto the bandages.

“but then you do stuff like this, and it reminds me too much of him. the spite. the malice. you say you don’t mean it, but you still did it because deep down, you don’t care enough about me to think twice about what you’re doing. you just want me to suffer because it’s my fault things aren’t going your way.” the way the tears stain jungwon’s face makes jongseong’s heart squeeze painfully.

“i’m sorry.”

jungwon snorts. then he lets out a giggle, wiping at his tears with the back of his hands. “you always are. but nothing changes. i’m the one that suffers. i’m the one that ends up broken and damaged. i’m so fucking sick of it."

jongseong reaches out and brushes some of jungwon’s hair out of his face, flinching when jungwon knocks his hand away. his nose is red, and his eyes are wet with tears, but jongseong still thinks he looks beautiful.

"hating you makes me no better than my dad. being apathetic makes me no better than my mom. taking my problems out on you makes me no better than heeseung. so, i’m going to forgive you, jongseong,” jungwon whispers.

jongseong’s eyes widen in surprise.

“i’ll forgive you. but i won’t forget. i refuse to lie down and take the abuse like i did with my family. i won’t make the mistake of loving you. remember that.”

no, jongseong thinks, this isn't how it's supposed to go. he's supposed to love me.

the tension rises in the air, like a balloon getting ready to burst.

“… i can still try, can’t i? to get you to love me.”

“not if it keeps ending up like this.”

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