i can't let go (until i come home)
pairing: jake/jungwon
rating: teen
summary: jake's never been a fan of the family business, but he knows without it, he wouldn't be living as comfortably as he did. so, the summer before he forfeits his life to the sim empire, he travels, and finds beauty in a broken boy that could never be his.
notes: here, have the cute jakewon summer fling. this was supposed to be short T-T
title from until i come home by two feet and grandson
the night air does nothing to cool jake's heated skin when yang jungwon poses the worst hypothetical question of jake's existence: what if?
staring into jungwon's eyes, jake's lips move to form one of many answers his brain supplies.
i can't.
we can't.
we're just kids.
we don't stand a chance.
it was only for the summer.
i'm not strong enough to protect you.
i have to take over the family business.
i don't want you to live that life.
please don't hate me.
it's too dangerous.
you deserve more.
what about jongs-
all the words die on his tongue, however. jungwon's giving him the look that scrambles his mind until nothing makes sense except for the angelic boy standing in front of him. jake doesn't know how to say what he wants to say. he's not even sure he knows what he wants to say, but it's never stopped him before.
"angel... jungwon... i..."
what if?
the words echo in jake's mind, a mockery of when his thoughts never seemed to stop.
jungwon reaches for his hands, holding them so jake's palms are up, just like he did the day he confessed. he traces the lines on his hands, eyes moving back and forth, like he's trying to reread their story. he stops suddenly, sighing heavily before bringing jake's hand up to his cheek.
and now, it's jake's turn to sigh, brushing the back of his fingers over soft, rosy skin before cupping his face in his hands. jungwon is trying to meet his eyes, but jake can't bring himself to look, so he closes them and presses their foreheads together. he lets go of their hands and drapes his arms over jungwon's shoulders in a loose hug.
jungwon revels in the smell of ocean breezes and summer rains, knowing deep down he'll never forget this scent. jake wonders if he'll ever be able to feel this kind of intimacy again.
"i don't want to leave you like this but..." the reasons scroll through his mind like a laundry list of chores, but none of them seem appropriate anymore.
when jake finally opens his eyes again, he finds jungwon hasn't looked away from him, and that quiet, sad smile he's fallen in love with adorns his face. "you couldn't have just said 'no,' huh?"
it's cliche, but jake gets lost in those eyes. his eyes are full of sadness, but it's a hopeful kind of sadness, where maybe, someday, he'd be okay, even if he isn't okay now.
but what if?
jake's summer starts like this.
"i wanna take jake with me on this contract. it'll be a good learning experience for him." jake glares at his brother from his seat across from their father. his brother is set to do business for a few months over the summer overseas, and though jake's not doing much at home, he doesn't really want to work the entire summer before his last year of school.
"good idea. you didn't have plans, did you, jake?" his father glances up at him with raised eyebrows.
"yeah. apparently, i'm going on a trip overseas to work a contract," he says as sarcastically as possible, ignoring his brother's snort of laughter.
his father chuckles at them before dismissing his sons with a promise to be home for dinner.
--
jake fully expects his brother to make him work like a dog all summer. what he doesn't expect is for his brother to pull his wallet out and hand him a wad of cash on their way to the hotel.
"here. take the summer to fuck off and do whatever the hell you want. we're gonna drop you off at an air b&b. you've got my number if something comes up."
jake's eyebrows are in danger of disappearing into his hairline. was this a test? did his brother get replaced with a body snatcher?
"for fuck's sake. stop thinking out loud." he drops the money on jake's lap with a roll of his eyes.
"what about you?"
"i still have to work that contract, unfortunately." his brother grins at him before reaching out to ruffle his hair. "it's too late for me. i've already been swallowed by the empire. go enjoy your summer like a regular kid for once. god knows i wish i could've done it more often."
jake's always been a bit of an overthinker when left to his own devices, so he sits there and mulls over his brother's words. he's... free? to be a teenager? he's currently in a foreign country where no one knows him. his father and his goonies aren't looming over his shoulder, dictating his every move.
jake isn't even sure what kids his age do, but he knows most teenagers don't know how to clean bloodstains and other viscera out of a variety of different surfaces. he knows most teenagers don't know how to make bodies disappear without a trace, and he's pretty sure not many of them know how to kill someone ten different ways before they hit the ground.
it all feels surreal until jake's staring at his brother's retreating back from the door of the house.
"what if dad calls?" he yells at him.
"don't worry. he won't. i'll see you in eight weeks. check in every now and then. don't get arrested. don't die!" his brother waves cheerily from the passenger's seat of the car.
jake sighs as he watches the car pull away, turning back to the house.
"i guess it's just me, myself, and i."
--
jake's brother says his problem is that he thinks too much. jake's actual problem is that he never thinks before he speaks, which creates problems that make him think too much.
this time, the problem is a boy on the swings at the park jake skates by on his exploration of the city. a shadow comes hurtling at him from above, and jake barely has a chance to react, instinctively turning his body and catching the boy in his arms.
the force sends them both tumbling to the ground, the boy yelping as jake breaks his fall with a grunt, landing painfully on his back.
"shit- i'm so sorry! i swear you weren't there when i jumped. are you okay?" the boy scrambles to his feet, leaning over jake with worried eyes.
jake's back hurts, and he's vaguely aware his elbows are stinging, and the side of his leg is bleeding, but he's definitely been through worse- and good god, how is it possible for someone to look that soft?
jake openly gapes at the boy looming over him. he looks like a kitten, lips turned up in a pout, eyebrows wrinkled. then his brain realizes, oh, he's waiting for me to say something. okay, jake. don't say something stupid, don't say something-
"'m okay. it's not every day an angel falls on me from heaven."
you absolute fuckhead, his brain deadpans at him. if it had any control over his body, his fingers would be clawing at his face right now in mortification, but since jake is still admiring the angel standing over him, all that appears on his face is a grin.
the boy (angel) blinks a few times in surprise before his expression turns to mild disgust, taking a few steps back when jake pushes himself up to his feet.
"i'm jake."
"you're also bleeding," he says quietly, pointing to his leg. "i've got some bandages in my bag."
jake follows him to a bench where a small messenger bag lays crumped next to an armrest, scooping up his skateboard from the grass on the way. he watches him dig through the bag and pull out a few bandages decorated with flowers and a handful of alcohol pads.
"go easy on me, okay? i'm kinda a big wuss."
the boy rolls his eyes and presses his lips together in a way where dimples appear on his face. jake mentally heaves a dreamy sigh. dimples. dimples so deep, i could probably swim in them.
the angel (lord, brain, please don't let me call him that out loud again, jake pleads) is careful cleaning up the side of jake's leg. their eyes meet ever so often, when he checks to see if jake is still doing okay, the tips of his ears turning a deeper shade of red every time he notices jake is still staring at him.
"can you stop staring at me, please?" he shoves the little bits of trash into his pocket and swings his bag over his shoulder. "you'll be okay now, right?"
jake grins. please. please, jake. don't say it.
"would you stay with me if i said no?"
the boy takes a deep breath in and holds it for a moment before breathing it out slowly. jake's rewarded with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"i guess you'll be fine. bye, jake."
jake's still a little too stunned by the small smile, so it takes a good ten seconds before he jumps to his feet, eyes wide. he never told jake his name,
"wait! will i ever see you again?"
the boy turns the corner with a wave of his fingers.
gone.
--
jake comes back to the park the next day. and the next day. and the day after that. each time he doesn't see the soft boy, his shoulders sag a little bit. then he sits on the bench and berates himself for uttering the cheesiest pick-up lines he's ever heard in his life.
where did those even come from? i don't watch tv. i haven't seen a movie in years. books? i don't read romance... god, maybe i've suffered through too many blows to the head.
somehow, he finds himself on a swing, pumping his legs back and forth until he can see over the river. the view is beautiful, even more so after jake thinks about the smile on the boy's face again.
maybe it's his lack of social interaction. every day, he spends training with men twice his age, who settle things with fists rather than words. his brother is the closest to his age, two years older than him, but even those two years feel like a decade of difference. jake doesn't ever usually speak with these people around him, so his words are left floating in his head.
and, unfortunately, jake's picked up the habit of thinking out loud sometimes to keep himself company. is he lonely? maybe he's lonely. maybe this is his brain's way to trying to be friends with anyone that'll look at him. but the boy, the angel, isn't just a regular person, jake reasons. he's seen a lot of people in his life, and no one renders him scrambled like the boy from the park.
on the fourth day of searching for him, jake says, "fuck this," and skates over to the ice cream shop he passes by on his daily trip to the park to treat himself and drown his sorrows (if anyone asks, he isn't sad at all, nope, not at all) in ice cream.
but as he approaches the store, the fates must decide to pity him for once because lo and behold, sitting at a table underneath an umbrella next to the door is the angel from the park.
jake can't hide the glee on his face as he approaches him, leaning over his shoulder to see what he's working on. when the shadow appears over the boy's sketchpad, he looks up and jumps, accidentally knocking into jake with his shoulder and shoving his chair back into his chest.
"holy shit- what the hell is wrong with you? if you're trying to kill me, there's easier ways than giving me a heart attack!" he narrows his eyes at jake, and jake fights the urge to coo at him because he just looks like an angry kitten.
"stay here! don't go anywhere! i'll be right back!" jake puts his skateboard down carefully and makes the motion with his fingers that he's watching him and pushes open the door inside.
the cashier is resting on their hand, giving jake an amused look, and jake wonders just how much they've heard.
"is he a regular? do you know what he orders usually?" jake asks, peering at the ice cream flavors behind the glass.
"you're lucky i do."
"i'll take two." jake bounces on the balls of his feet in excitement, paying quickly and hurrying outside, sliding into the seat across from him and sliding the other cup of ice cream over to him.
"a peace offering," jake says, watching him furrow his eyebrows at the ice cream. when the boy doesn't say anything to him, jake takes a bite of the cold treat with a pout. "what're you drawing?"
"what are you doing here? are you following me?" he says finally, spinning his pencil between his fingers.
"if you're asking if i've stopped by the park the past couple of days to see if you're there, the answer is absolutely yes." jake shoots him a shit-eating grin, and the boy is back to giving him that mildly disgusted look. "why? are you avoiding me, angel?"
the look of disgust deepens, and the boy just sighs, putting his pencil down and rubbing his eyes with his hands.
"jungwon. my name is jungwon. please stop calling me angel."
holy shit, he told you his name. okay. don't fuck it up, jake. don't fuck it up. don't say whatever you're about to say next. no, jake, don't fucking-
"since you asked so politely."
if looks could kill, jake would've been dead eight ways to sunday, and he wouldn't even be mad.
"jungwon. your name suits you," jake continues, taking another bite of his ice cream.
jungwon remembers he has a cup, too, and reaches for it with a sigh. "what does that mean? it suits me?"
jake shrugs, struggling to come up with words now that jungwon's eyes are on him again. "you look like a jungwon."
now, jake's suddenly very aware of the way jungwon is looking at him. there's something careful, pensive behind his eyes as he looks over jake. maybe it's an artist's gaze. jake swallows nervously, coughing when he realizes he just put a glob of ice cream into his mouth.
jungwon just slides a napkin over to his side of the table before going back to his drawing.
jake decides to keep his mouth shut for now, leaning back in his chair and pulling out his phone to scroll through whatever social media notifications he had. every now and then, he toes jungwon's shin, glancing up over his phone to see his reaction. but jungwon never looks up, choosing instead to retaliate with violence, kicking jake's foot.
does this count as playing footsie with someone? he thinks, subtly trying to angle his phone to take a good picture of jungwon when the sun hits him just right from the corner. there's probably some waxing poetic words his brain wants him to say about how the light forms a halo over his head, highlighting the beautiful slants of his-
then jungwon snorts, and it turns into a laugh a few moments later as he leans back in his chair, covering his mouth with his hand. "are you aware you were thinking out loud?"
heat creeps up jake's neck to his face, and it's his turn to drop his phone and bury his face into his hands, mortification clawing through his chest.
"i promise i'm not usually this embarrassing. i don't usually talk to a lot of people my age."
"your age? how old are you?"
jake finds out there's only two years of difference between them. why does it feel like we're so much closer in age than me and my brother?
jungwon's watching him again, and jake wants so desperately to know what he's thinking.
"you can just ask me what i'm thinking."
jake blushes again. he really needs to work on the thinking out loud thing. "what are you thinking?"
"you said i look like a jungwon. i'm just trying to figure out what you mean by that, exactly. what it is you see that says i'm jungwon."
"well, do you think i look like a jake?"
jungwon goes silent and tilts his head to the side.
"i don't know yet. i'll let you know when i figure it out."
oh. oh no. does that mean he's going to be staring at me more? oh no. help.
--
"need a push?"
jake approaches jungwon on a breezy afternoon at the park. his arms are wrapped around the chains on the swings, head leaning against it. he's got that distant look in his eyes again, and jake wonders if jungwon even heard him.
"if you're offering, i won't say no." jungwon glances over his shoulder and- oh no, he's looking at me again. jake's brain malfunctions, and he trips over his own feet, catching himself on jungwon's shoulders, making the boy bristle slightly.
"sorry!" jake throws up his hands in surrender, taking a step back. "i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
jungwon takes a few deep breaths in and out before shaking his head. "hurry up and push me already."
so, jake does. he pushes jungwon on the swings, higher and higher, smile wide on his face when he sees the wind blowing in the younger boy's hair, dimples out on display every time he reaches the height of the swing.
then jungwon jumps again.
jake doesn't remember diving for him in a panic, twisting his body to cushion his fall again, arms wrapped around him. the pair go sliding on the gravel, breathing hard.
"jake, what the fuck?" jungwon asks breathlessly above him. he can feel the jungwon's chest heaving against his own, and oh, his heart is beating entirely too fast, and jake blames the flush on his cheeks on the summer heat and not the soft boy in his arms.
"i-um... would like to kindly remind you that you relinquished your wings when you fell from heaven the day we met?"
"oh my god- i'm leaving. bye, jake." jungwon pushes away from jake, stumbling to his feet and brushing off dust and dirt as he makes a beeline for his bag.
"no! wait! jungwon, i'm sorry! i'll stop, i promise!" jake rolls over, ignoring the protests and stinging from his back (he's probably got bits of gravel stuck in his skin, and he's not looking forward to digging those out later), hurrying after jungwon. "wait, jungwon, please don't go."
jungwon stops halfway down the sidewalk and huffs at him. he doesn't really look angry. if anything, jungwon looks confused. when jake catches up to him, he starts walking again.
"i promise i'm not calling you an angel to tease you. i really mean it. you're really... pretty," he finishes lamely.
jungwon keeps walking in silence until he suddenly makes a sharp turn into the grass towards the riverbank. jake takes a few steps in the wrong direction before doubling back and jogging after him, finding jungwon already sitting in the grass, bag beside him.
jake flops down on the other side, peeking at jungwon through his bangs. then, jungwon turns his head, and jake withers under his unexpectedly severe gaze. but whatever jungwon is looking for, he must find it because he sighs instead, shoulders relaxing.
"i'm sorry. i'm just not... not used to this." jungwon gestures vaguely at jake before digging into his bag again.
"no, no. it's me. it's definitely me. i guess i never realized how touch starved i am until i met you. it doesn't really help since you don't really like to be touched, huh? and i'm practically a stranger who crashed into your life. or... you crashed into my life, and now i can't leave you alone."
jake knows he said something wrong when jungwon's shoulders suddenly hunch forward, and he squeezes his eyes shut.
"oh- shit. i didn't- i'm sorry. i'm gonna stop talking now before i really fuck up."
the two of them sit in silence until jungwon finally forces his eyes open and rolls his shoulders back.
"it's... not you. it's complicated, is all."
"i'm good at complicated things. i mean, i'm good at making things complicated. or wait, hold on. i'm..." jake wracks his brain, trying to figure out what he's trying to say. (lack of casual conversational skills: one. jake: zero.)
"why are you trying so hard to talk to me? what are you getting out of this?"
and just like that, jake's mind goes blank. "what?"
"what do you mean, what? it's a simple question. what are you doing here, jake, talking to me?" jungwon pulls his sketchpad out with a pencil before turning piercing eyes back at jake.
"i... i enjoy your company," he says carefully, raising his eyebrows slowly.
"literally no one can stand being around me, so i'm pretty sure you're lying to me."
"but i'm not lying. i'm not! sure, you're a little spicy, but i can handle the heat. otherwise, i wouldn't spend as much time outside sweating." jake thinks he sees jungwon mouth the words what the actual fuck, but he knows where his thinking has gotten him before, and it's into situations like this.
"i have no idea what you just said."
jake deflates a little bit, turning towards the river and pulling his knees up to his chest. "maybe it's better you don't. sorry. like i said, this is the most human interaction outside of my family i've had in a while."
"you don't go to school?" pages rustle, and jungwon is pressing his pencil to a new page, taking sideways glances at jake.
"i do, but most people avoid me."
"i can't imagine why. i thought the only thing people cared about these days is a pretty face."
jake opens his mouth to say something, but promptly snaps it shut, eyes going wide. he can feel a blush appearing on his cheeks. why the fuck is he blushing.
jungwon makes a noise of affirmation, smug smile on his face. "you're cute when you blush. i guess i understand why people tease so much now."
a strangled noise escapes jake's lips as he reaches out and shoves at jungwon making the boy snicker. the dimples make another appearance, and jake's gone. he's so far gone.
"i guess we have more in common than i thought. most people leave me alone at school, too. probably not for the same reasons." jungwon sounds so bitter, jake can't help but reach out and squeeze his shoulder.
jungwon doesn't flinch this time, instead, meeting his eyes and giving him a soft, sad smile.
jake falls in love a little more, and he can't help but think he's royally fucked.
--
the scars on jake's hands tell a story.
"tell me the story."
jake and jungwon spend nearly every day with each other. jake goes to find jungwon at the park, and they talk about anything, everything. sometimes, they swing next to each other. sometimes, jake pushes jungwon on the swings.
there was a day they spent skating around the park (or rather, jake was trying to teach jungwon how to skate by pushing him gently and holding his hands, but jungwon screamed too much, and jake was actually afraid of losing his hearing), and another day they spent at the ice cream shop again.
jungwon shows him his favorite spots around the city, and they're all quiet, secluded with a spectacular view. he's shown jake a few of his sketches, and jake thinks they're nothing short of breathtaking, just like the artist.
jungwon's slowly becoming used to jake's small touches, and it makes him happier than he's ever been in his life, being able to reach out and hold jungwon's hand without him flinching or resting his head on his shoulder to watch him draw.
but right now, jake is laying on jungwon's lap in what is one of his favorite spots now. it's underneath a small grove of trees by the river. jake is staring at his hands, the multitude of scars crisscrossing on his skin.
"tell me the story," jungwon says again, poking at his forehead with his pencil.
"oh. did i say that out loud?"
"you did. do you think in third person often?" the sounds of scratching pencil start again. jake turns his eyes up to see jungwon giving him an amused smile before his eyes go back to the paper.
"maybe? is it weird?"
"everything about you is weird. but i don't mind it. it's... nice. you remind me of my brother before he presented."
jake perks up at the new information. jungwon hardly ever talks about himself, and this is the first time he's mentioned family.
"he's an omega. i liked him better before. he was nicer to me. and now, he just kinda... doesn't care unless he needs something from me."
and then jake deflates immediately, feeling guilty. all he's done is sing praises about his own older brother, even if all they do half the time is fight.
"i'm sorry. i didn't realize..."
jungwon silences him with a shrug. "it is what it is."
"thanks for telling me. i noticed you don't really like talking about yourself."
jungwon purses his lips. "honestly, there's not a lot to me. my name is yang jungwon. i like to draw. i like to read. i hate being in my own skin sometimes, and i love chocolate ice cream."
jake chuckles, turning so he's lying on his stomach now, wrapping his arms around jungwon's waist. jungwon sighs heavily and moves his sketchpad to the top of his bag.
"you forgot that you're an angel walking the earth."
jungwon rolls his eyes, fingers reaching out to move stray strands of hair out of jake's face. "that's okay. you can remember that for me."
jake smiles. he could get used to this. he could definitely get used to this.
but you shouldn't. and you can't. you're leaving soon, did you forget?
"now, are you gonna tell me that story? or should i make it up myself?"
"make it up yourself," jake mumbles.
"alright, then."
jake whines when jungwon rearranges him so he's sitting up in front of him now, palms up in jungwon's hands. "man, i was comfy."
"should've just told me the story, then." jungwon laughs before holding one of jake's hands up to examine it.
jake swallows as jungwon traces the scars on his skin. his eyes are moving rapidly, cataloguing all the details from the callouses on the palms of his hands to the bitten down nails.
"they say you can tell a lot about people from how their hands look. your hands look like you've put in a lot of hard work. maybe too much hard work without enough rest. the work's definitely not easy. these more prominent scars tell me tell me some of it is repetitive work. everything else tells me it's far from it. you probably get hurt a lot, but you're so used to it, it doesn't even faze you anymore."
jake's eyes snap up to jungwon, who's still staring at his hands, but his fingers have stopped tracing them.
"you've done it so often, it's muscle memory to you now. your body is just another tool to get things done. you haven't lived a regular childhood because you're too busy doing whatever it is you do. maybe you don't hate it, but you don't particularly like it either."
jungwon finally looks up to meet jake's eyes, and he knows he hit the nail on the head at the stunned look on his face.
"what... i... how? do you know?"
jungwon lets go of his hands and shrugs. "i don't know anything really. this is just a guess based off of my observations." he reaches back for his sketchpad and flips it open, handing it over to jake.
across the pages, jake sees himself. he sees sketches of his expressions, him in different poses, making different faces, skating, running, sleeping, laughing, thinking-
oh, shit.
it hits him like a sack of bricks. he's so busy thinking about himself, he doesn't realize that jungwon might've been falling for him, too.
"jungwon. i- shit. i don't- i'm leaving. at the end of the summer. i'm not staying. i-" jake looks up at jungwon, a little scared, a little desperate, a little of a lot of emotions he's never had to deal with before.
"i know. i know you're not staying. nothing good in my life ever stays," he says quietly, looking out over the river.
this is it. this is the moment that changes jake's world, turning everything upside down and inside out. this moment, when jake reaches out to cup jungwon's cheek, turning the boy towards him.
this is the moment that changes everything, when jake closes his eyes and leans in to kiss him, and jungwon lets him, basking in the faint smell of ocean breezes and summer rain.
this is the moment the two of them know they're in love with each other, but they shouldn't be because everything falls apart.
--
it starts at the ice cream shop.
"jungwon? who's this?"
jake watches every muscle in jungwon's body freeze for a moment before a dark expression jake's never seen before appears on his face.
"he's a friend, visiting for the summer."
the older boy raises an amused eyebrow before smiling and holding out his hand to jake. "hi. i'm heeseung. jungwon's older brother."
jake presses his lips together to make sure he doesn't think out loud because oh, this is the older brother. heeseung is certainly handsome, and if it weren't for jungwon telling him before, jake would've easily mistaken him for an alpha.
jake takes his hand and shakes it, forcing a grin to his face. "i'm jake. nice to meet you."
"don't believe everything he says about me. i promise i'm not that bad."
jake laughs nervously while jungwon looks like he wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
"he's leaving soon, so can you go?" jungwon says, eyeing his older brother.
"nah, you don't mind if i stay and talk for a little bit, right? wonnie never talks about friends." heeseung invites himself to their table, and jake lets his muscle memory take over, shooting a charming smile over to him.
heeseung asks the usual questions, like where he's from, how he and jungwon met, and jake lies though a smile. he can tell he's fooling heeseung, but jungwon's expression hasn't changed from the thunderclouds hanging above him.
then, heeseung asks the loaded question. "does jay know you're hanging out with another alpha? alone?"
"what the fuck does it matter?" jungwon grits through his teeth.
"oh? did wonnie tell you he's been claimed already?"
this time, jake can't hide his surprise. "what? people still do that?" there's a mildly disturbed look on his face, and jungwon really looks like he wishes he could be anywhere else but there.
"i won't say anything to him, i guess, since you're only here for the summer. anyway, i'll see you at home, baby bro!" heeseung reaches out to pinch jungwon's cheeks, and jake sees jungwon clenching his fists on the table.
"bye, jake! it was nice to meet you!"
jake smiles at him and waves politely until he's out of earshot.
"i'm kinda offended you compared me to him." but when jungwon doesn't answer him, jake reaches out and gently unclenches his fists, rubbing the palms of his hands. "hey, jungwon? i'm not mad. it's okay. c'mon. let's get out of here."
they walk to the park, and jungwon immediately makes a beeline for the swings. jake pushes him in silence for a few moments.
"he's gonna use you to blackmail me. i know he is. he's interested in you."
"yeah, he wasn't really subtle about that. i'm not interested in him, though."
jungwon swings in silence, the dark expression back on his face.
"hey. don't think about that, jungwon. think about me. i'm still here. i've only got another couple of days left before i go home. do you really want me to remember that stink face when i leave?"
jungwon doesn't really want to smile, but one wrestles itself onto his face, which makes jake's smile even bigger. "that's what i like to see!" he laughs, walking over to the front of the swings, watching jungwon with fondness in his eyes.
"you know, i wouldn't be mad if you jumped this time. i'll still catch you. promise i won't fall this time."
so, jungwon starts to swing higher, leaving behind his worries. he leaves behind his sadness, his intrusive thoughts. he leaves it all behind, until he feels lighter than he's ever felt, eyes on the other boy with his arms outstretched, smile on his face, waiting to catch him in his arms.
jungwon's laughing when he jumps, eyes bright and wide, landing perfectly in jake's arms.
jake swings him around before putting him down on the ground. jungwon's heart is beating so fast, he leans in and buries his face into jake's chest, breathing in deep. jake leans down and presses a kiss to the top of jungwon's head.
jungwon thinks he can't possibly be any happier until he smells smoke, making him gasp.
then jake isn't standing in front of him anymore.
he's on the ground with an angry jongseong on top of him, fists flying.
now, they've come full circle.
they're at their favorite spot next to the river, underneath the grove of trees, laying underneath the stars. their fingers are threaded together between them. jake tries to ignore the dread filling his body. he doesn't want to leave, jungwon. not like this. not after knowing what he's going back to.
"hey, jake?"
"yeah?"
"when you leave... keep those smiles for me. don't give them to anyone else."
jake chuckles at the younger boy. "of course. they belong to you. they always will."
like me, he thinks. i'll always belong to you.
then jake rolls over onto his side as jungwon cuddles up closer to him.
jake noses at his cheek.
jungwon turns his way.
jake falls into jungwon's eyes again, and this time, when they kiss, jake knows he's fallen in too deep to come out unscathed.
jake's brother is saying something to him on the way to dinner, but jake's mind is still on jungwon. his brother tells him he's coming to get him and to get dressed for a business dinner. they're going to meet a prominent contact out here, and jake's brother says it's the least he can do so their dad doesn't get too pissed at them.
he's standing in the lobby of the fancy restaurant, hands in his pockets, expression steeled to show nothing as they wait.
"ah, sim. you haven't been here too long, have you?"
"not at all, mr. park. just got here. this is my brother, jake. he'll be joining the family business soon. he's around your son's age."
jake looks up, and he comes face to face with jongseong. a wry smile appears on jake's face as he extends his hands in greeting first, ignoring the flash of anger in the other boy's eyes.
"hi, i'm jake."
he stares at his hand for a moment before reaching for it.
"my friends call me jay."
"nice to meet you, jay." jake pulls him in for a bro hug, and he can't help but whisper in his ear. "is that why jungwon calls you jongseong?"
jake pulls away with a smirk, laughing when jay tries to break his fingers.
"i thought i told you to stay the fuck away from him."
"you did. but you don't own me. and most of all, you don't own him."
they're still locked in a battle for dominance when jake's brother finds them to tell them dinner is starting soon.
"i won't let you steal him from me," jay snarls lowly.
"can't steal what never belonged to you in the first place." jake winks at him, and the fury radiating from jay's body fuels him even more.
yang jungwon. wait for me until i come home.